The Good Old Days: Part 2

By the time Sam and I started dating, he had already dropped out of high school. This left him plenty of time to focus on me. I would cut class and we’d go to the local grocery story, sit on a bench, hold hands and talk. One notable day he even brought me a box of my favorite cereal and what looked like a bouquet of flowers, but turned out to be a crowbar wrapped in tissue paper. We were very happy.

Sam was so attentive that I put off learning to drive until I was 17, Sam would drive me anywhere I needed to go. He would pick me up in the morning in time to make it to my more important classes and then drive me back to his house in the afternoon. When I finally did learn to drive, it was in his mom’s black Camry.

Sam’s parents loved me. And his little sister became a close friend. I was struggling at home and his family welcomed me into theirs.

Sam began taking music classes at the local state university, and I would sit in on classes with him. I would attend every live performance he played. If we were not with each other, we were on the phone, and if not on the phone, we were on IM. We were the ideal couple.

Sam introduced me to Radiohead, Beck and Lucinda Williams and reminded me how amazing The Little Mermaid Soundtrack was. He threw out my MxPx and Blink 182 CD’s and replaced them with The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.  I lost my virginity to Sam and he taught me how to play Mario Tennis.

He told me I was smart, funny, and talented, but I always knew that he was the smart, funny and talented one. Everything was perfect.

High school can be rough, and I appreciated Sam’s lightheartedness, it was a welcome change from so many of our dark compatriots. But looking back, I think I was afraid to be sad with him. I was afraid to be earnest and sincere. We were ironic. We mocked sincerity. We were having fun. And so I hid, in this small way, and he was always aware of this. But I was willing to remain hidden- it seemed a small price to pay for such an amazing relationship- until Sonia came along.

Sonia took a few classes with Sam. She had attended our high school and we had known her, but had never been close with her. Suddenly however, she started hanging out at Sam’s house more and more frequently. And I couldn’t control my jealousy.

I was still in high school and had a curfew. But Sonia would stay at Sam’s all night long, playing video games and listening to music. And though Sam claimed to be completely honest with me about his nights with Sonia, I couldn’t help but believe that something dubious was going on. I begged him to stop seeing her. I told him if he loved me he would cut her out of his life. It was the first time I ever cried in front of him, and he agreed to my demands.

Things went back to normal for a week or so and then one day, Sam didn’t call me. He didn’t come to school to visit me, or send me instant messages when I got home. He didn’t answer his phone when I called. It was the first time in the entire two years I had known him that we didn’t speak.

The next day, I stayed home sick from school and Sam called. He said he wanted to talk over the phone because he couldn’t bear to see me in person. He said that he and Sonia had stayed up all night talking and had come to the decision that I was not right for him any longer.

He told me that it wasn’t that he had feelings for Sonia, it was just that he didn’t think he was in love with me any more. He thought I was too immature; that I was hiding myself from him.

I sobbed into the phone.

He asked me if I wanted him to come over. He begged me to stop crying, he told me he still wanted to be friends. That he still loved me as a person. He insisted he did not cheat on me…

I hung up.

Sam and Sonia dated for a year and a half.

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